Greg Bear - Hegira Read online

  "Won't the master Sulay miss us, Bey?" Barthel asked sleepily from his blanket on the floor.

  "Not for a while," Bar-Woten answered. He turned to look at the man on the bed. His breathing was light and regular. His pale face had taken on a better color during the night. He looked almost healthy.

  Bar-Woten checked his pulse and pinched his fingernails, and still the man slept. Barthel said pounding rocks together wouldn't wake a healing man before his body was ready.

  "You told me your mother knew stories about Kristians," Bar-Woten said. "Do you remember any of them?"

  For the briefest of moments the boy's face clouded and his eyes narrowed. Then it was clear again and he smiled. "Not too well, Bey. Mostly derogatory stories about their customs, which I am no longer qualified to criticize since I share them with you very often. The eating of unclean foods, the drinking of wine and other forbidden beverages."

  "Nothing about why a man would drive himself to illness to meet his god?"

  "No, Bey."

  It was perhaps the same reason two million men had once left the beautiful land of Ibis to cross the Atlasade range into Barthel's land, Khem. Or why they had tortured themselves by crossing the Pais Vermagne, a thousand kilometers of swamp and pestilence and deadly reptiles, instead of taking an easier route - all to investigate legends in Khem of the City of the First-born. They had found a monotonous grassland and a central range of hills as barren and dusty as the deserts west of Ibis. No treasure, no fabled city.

  The penitent was also searching for treasure, and his trek was just as rugged. Bar-Woten questioned his own sanity in feeling sympathy, but he did. Sympathy and warmth. Wel-come, fellow traveler. How many souls have you killed inside yourself trying to find the right one to present to God, saying, Look - pure!

  Surely not as many souls as I have killed, he thought, mostly in the bodies of others.

  "Hello," the penitent said. Bar-Woten started from his reverie and looked at the man sternly. The pale face returned the stare like a statue. The lips were fever-cracked, the nostrils red with broken vessels. "You've put me up for the night?"

  "Nothing honorable," Bar-Woten said. "You nearly killed yourself. Most people's gods resent suicide."

  "Where am I?"

  "A hostel."

  "I have to leave." The penitent's watery green eyes filled with enormous black pupils. The corners of his mouth turned up perpetually, and his eyes crinkled at their edges as though, like a mischievous child, he might laugh at any moment. But these were betrayals of his body. He was perfectly serious.

  "Nobody's holding you. You should get your strength back, however. Eat some food."

  "I'm on a fast."

  "For how long? Until you starve?"

  "I'm starving now. It brings me closer to my goal."

  "And what is your goal?"

  "To live in the light of God, not the mud of the world."

  "What's your name?"

  "Jacome. Yours?"

  "Bar-Woten."

  "A peculiar name."

  "I'm an Ibisian. I picked the name up when I killed a bear fifteen years ago. He clawed out an eye before he died. Bear-killer, of the One-eyed God. Bar-Woten. Why do you call yourself Jacome? That's not your name. Am I right that penitents, if they try to deny the world, must deny them-selves? Change their names?"

  "Yes," Jacome said. "Fools of God. Buffoons."

  "Then what was your name before you changed?"

  "You'd have to ask the fellow I was. I can't answer."

  Bar-Woten motioned for Barthel to leave.

  "Tell me about your god," he said.

  "You're interested?"

  "I am."

  Barthel sat outside and leaned against the wall. His eyes surveyed the ceiling, searching for bugs to amuse him, certainly not interested by the drivel being spoken inside. He did not understand his master at times. It was often hard to like Bar-Woten. He was kind, but he loved nothing. Barthel, on the other hand, wished to love everything. That was impossible with Bar-Woten constantly calling for him. The man's gloom was sometimes appalling.

  Bar-Woten interrupted Jacome's discourse long enough to debate a few points of logic. "This Heisos, also known as Yesu, is on every Obelisk across Hegira, right?"

  "He is."

  "Then why isn't everyone converted by His truth?"

  "Because there are words on the Obelisks that contradict what He taught. Inspired by the adversary."

  "How do you know which to choose, which is right?"

  "By the heart, the way it beats to the right words."

  "Did Heisos live on Hegira?"

  "No."

  "Then was His mission intended for the Second-born?"

  "For all humanity."

  Barthel paced in the hallway, bent to listen at the door, then had an inspiration. He would go out for food. But he had very little of the Bey's money with him. He knocked cautiously. No answer. They were still talking. He feared the penitent might convert the Bey. A dreadful thing. He knocked again. Bar-Woten opened the door.

  "Master, shall I buy food for all of us?"

  The Bey looked at him intensely through his single eye, then reached into his jacket pocket for a coin. "Good food, fresh, and a variety of it. Enough to last all of us for a day or so."

  Barthel grinned and ran off.

  Bar-Woten shut the door and asked Jacome another ques-tion. "What made you find the grace of Kristos?"

  "The guidance of my heart."

  "Can you remember what made you follow your heart?"

  Jacome scowled. "It's only important that I found the truth in time."

  "But you forget what happened. Was it someone who helped you?"

  "I haven't forgotten. No one helped me at first. But when I joined the Franciscans, they helped me."

  "I want to know what converted you. Perhaps I can find something like it in myself."

  Barthel found his idea less attractive when he stood on the street. There were no food stalls nearby. The Bey's presence, at any rate, was always reassuring. Now, alone in a city he did not know well, he felt his pulse rise and his eyes widen. The people did not look harmful. Still, any city held thieves, cutthroats, pickpockets. Monsters to suck a poor Momadan dry. The Bey's teachings from Barthel's youth could not eradicate this fear.

  As Barthel walked, swaggering slightly and looking from side to side to show his confidence, he thought of the comforts of Khem and how they had passed in such an inconceivably short time. The Bey had never bothered to explain or excuse the actions of Sulay in Khem - and for this Barthel was thankful. He didn't think he could stand the propaganda other servants told him they were regaled with. Bar-Woten was a good master.

  But if it ever came to light who had killed his father and mother and two sisters... Barthel's swagger stiffened. He didn't know what he would do. He was young and no fighter. At times he wished he could be a fighter and kill Sulay, cold fishy Sulay, who cared only for kilometers crossed and confirmations of the greatness of Sulay.

  But food was the order of the moment. He found a clean-looking stall that purveyed crullers, tins of coffee, and fresh vegetables. He didn't bother with the meat. Ibisians, like Momadans on Hegira, were not meat-eaters for the most part. They preferred vegetables, fruits, and fish or fowl.

  He bargained rapidly and without mercy. The stall's owner, a man four times Barthel's age, smiled and gave in a little. Eventually a price was reached and they hooked thumbs, Mediwevan style.

  The parcels were heavy. Barthel decided to rent a cart. He hailed a bicycle-drawn taxi when he saw no carts were available. The hack was little older than himself and regarded him with sharp dark eyes and taut lips. The fare hardly seemed worth pulling. But the hack mounted his wooden bike and pedaled without strain up and down the fiat-cobbled dips and gutters. Barthel relaxed his guard to look at the surroundings more leisurely. It didn't seem a bad city. Busy people were everywhere, and few were lame or crippled or ill-looking.

  The Bey was still talki
ng with the penitent when Barthel returned. The young man was sweating and looked upset. His hand motions were jagged, and he stammered. The Bey was as firm and persistent as ever. Barthel dropped the packages in a corner and sat down to listen.

  "I can't tell you how I saw the wisdom of the Lord Heisos. It's a private matter."

  "Can there be private matters between two souls striving for salvation?"

  "For this soul there is. You may confess what you wish."

  "Fra Jacome, I have learned much from you. Would you care to raise your health for God's work by joining us in breaking fast?"

  "You sound pious, Fra Bar-Woten. I know you're not. You're ridiculing me.'

  "I am sincere. I wish you to join us in our meal."

  "You know I can't eat until the Fast of Francis is over."

  Barthel disapproved of what the Bey was doing. He was baiting the penitent, drawing him onto limbs and cutting them out from under. The Bey had a deadly way of finding out how other people thought, like dissection. Barthel allowed himself a moment of judgment on his master.

  "Your health will break and you'll die."

  "Why are you interested in my health? Your people would sooner destroy us than spit on us!"

  Bar-Woten shrugged and lifted his eyebrow. "I can't speak for other Ibisians. Perhaps they do. Me, I wish to know what makes a man whip himself in the name of a God Who is kind."

  "My God is not kind!" Jacome bellowed. "He takes away cruelly and has no mercy for those who do not know and perform His wishes!"

  Barthel cringed in surprise. The Bey had found the weak point he wanted.

  "Then how did you come to love Him? Out of fear?"

  The penitent tried to speak, but stammered into silence. His eyes were bright with tears and anger. "You p-p-pry," he managed to stutter. "You t-twist my tongue like a serpent."

  "I am curious," Bar-Woten said. "And concerned."

  "I saw the light of God in the middle of an agony so great

  I couldn't stand it. I grieved so deeply I died. And when I was reborn, I was the child you see now, still not mature in God's eyes. I was a scrittori. I recorded the writings on the Obelisk. I was going to marry a woman of my own age in a village near Obelisk Tara. We were nine months betrothed." He paused and caught his breath, his wild look abating.

  "She had been born the same day as a boy in Castoreto. They came from different families, but they looked alike. Some said they were twins by God's will. This boy was an apprentice scrittori. I knew him from our schooling. He fell from the side of the Obelisk and died, and that same day my only life and love froze hard as a block of ice. Her skin became a mirror. Nothing could revive her. That is what killed me - a touch from God's finger told me not to adore the beauties of the world!"

  It was Bar-Woten's turn to be astonished. Speechless, he stepped away from the bed and walked to the skylight. "Doppelgangers, I think," he mused softly. Barthel cocked his head. "Do you remember the story?" the Bey asked him.

  Barthel nodded, a little shiver going up his back.

  Two

  Jacome sat in bed with his face frozen, staring stonily at the opposite wall. One finger tapped on the counterpane. He seemed willing to sit that way forever.

  Bar-Woten ate a quick breakfast. Barthel joined him on the floor, eating ravenously. His master kept no eye on the penitent, so Barthel observed him closely.

  "What does it mean to you?" Jacome finally asked.

  "It's an old story," Bar-Woten answered around a bite of melon. "A fable. The Princess and the Poor Man."

  "It's no story. It happened."

  "I don't doubt that," Bar-Woten said, turning around on his hindquarters to face the bed. "What was your name then?"

  "Kiril."

  "And you felt God was punishing you."

  "She was all I loved."

  "It's ridiculous to believe God would punish someone else for your own wrongdoings. That's ego, not Kristianity."

  "I know that." Jacome-Kiril flushed like an embarrassed child. "Why did you pull me out of hiding?"

  "I don't know," Bar-Woten said.

  "I can't go back."

  "You've never heard the story of the Princess and the Poor Man?"

  "No. I never enjoyed children's stories."

  "I doubt it even exists in Mediweva, or someone would have pointed it out to you long ago. It's about a Poor Man who wins a contest for the heart of a great king's daughter. The day before their wedding she's transformed into a silver statue as hard as diamond. The king searches the land for the responsible sorcerer, but never finds him. However, he learns a peasant family had a son born the same day as his daughter. They resembled each other so much they could have been twins. The boy had died at the moment of his daughter's affliction. The Poor Man was stricken with grief."

  "I don't believe you."

  "You might find the end interesting. A seeress tells the Poor Man who won the contest that he must travel very far to save his bride-to-be - to the Land Where Night Is a River. He will find the Princess's male doppelganger, or double, when he crosses over that empty river to the land beyond. When he returns the double to the king's land, the Princess will be restored. He does as he is told, and she comes back to life."

  Kiril stared at Bar-Woten. The pain in his expression was too much for Barthel. He turned his eyes away.

  "First you pull me out of my cave, and now you tell me there's some way to bring back my most precious love."

  "How could I have known about your grief?" Bar-Woten asked. "I'm no monster. Ask any Ibisian. It's a story known to all of us."

  "God damn you!" Kiril spat.

  Bar-Woten faced the penitent with a stare as implacable as his own. He smiled. "Barthel," he said without turning, "prepare our belongings and wrap up the rest of the food. We're leaving." Then, his smile gone, he said, "Perhaps it's an offer, a chance to regain what you've lost."

  "How? By some fantasy?"

  "That, or let your body and mind rot in a life you're not suited for. Come with us."

  "You want me to travel with your army?"

  "There is no army," the Ibisian said coldly. "Soon there will be no Sulay. The dirt will absorb us like the end of a river. I owe no allegiance to a dead dream. I've been looking for a reason to go. I now have a reason."

  Barthel was genuinely frightened. The Bey talked non-sense, believing a mad Kristian and thinking a fairy-tale coincidence could point like a beacon! Momad save them all.

  "We're both insane," Kiril said softly. "I pity you more than myself."

  "Pity no one. There's no room for it. I have other reasons to make a journey. Some mysteries to solve."

  "What can possibly mystify a madman?"

  "The world. The origin of the flesh. But mostly the world, our world. Why we are Second-born and take our truths from Obelisks." He sighed and saw that Barthel had finished packing the food and their meager burden of clothes. "Are you well enough to travel?"

  "I can walk. You compel me to follow?"

  "As one madman to another. I pulled you out of one cave, now I'm obligated to watch over you."

  "It wasn't much of a cave," Kiril admitted. "I haven't met your companion."

  "This is Barthel, from Khem." Barthel bowed and almost dropped the sack from his shoulder. "But he won't be my servant for long. I won't force anyone to follow me."

  "Where does the Bey think he will go?" Barthel asked.

  "To the Land Where Night Is a River," he answered. "Or at the very least, to my death."

  Three

  "I don't think we're welcome here, Bey," Barthel said. The horse market was crowding with scowling onlookers.

  Kiril swept his tattered robes over his shoulder and tight-ened the rope that held them together. "Something's in the wind."

  "We'll stay close together," Bar-Woten said. "I think this trader wants our money more than our necks. I'll bargain. You two keep close watch." He returned to haggling with the rheumy-eyed horse dealer. The man puffed his cheeks out at Bar-Wote
n's offer and held up his hands. "Too cheap," he said. "These mounts are noble beasts worth twice that at least. Let's say four fifty apiece."

  "Robbery," Bar-Woten said calmly. "Two fifty is all we have for horses today. We will buy elsewhere."

  "Three seventy-five," the dealer said, not batting an eye.